Husband left for New York on Wednesday night. He's going to his 20 year high school reunion, then he's bringing himself and Mina home on Tuesday. Some have asked why I'm not going to the reunion with him, and frankly, that's not fun. "Hey, 'member when we peed in the bushes near the locker room??" Yea, no. Knock yourself out, Husband. Betsy and I escorted each other to our reunion and I couldn't've imagined boring Husband to tears with more obscure and insider reminiscing. Betsy and I had a blast though. I did, however, make sure that Husband took the hottest pictures of me to show off. He was completely on board with this because my husband was not granted a growth spurt until AFTER high school, where, I believe, he then slowly sprouted into a big hunk of a man. But he still thinks not-to-fondly of being scrawny and un-hot in high school. "Would you have dated me in high school," he asks. And I say, "No." But I didn't really date in high school at all, number 1, and I'm three years older than him, so definitely not. Anyway, he's going to show up to his old high school, a big hunk of a man; Mr. Cool in a seersucker jacket and great jeans showing off photos of his trophy wife and beautiful children. Get all the ex-cheerleaders questioning why they didn't fawn all over him before. Knock 'em dead, baby!
He left on the red eye and by Thursday morning I hadn't received a text or a call reporting that he had arrived safely. And you might know by now that I'm not too fond of planes at the moment -- or, they're ok, just causing me some recent panic -- so, I see no text or call and I say to myself, "It's ok, he's fine." I try to call him, y nada. "He's fine. Should I turn on the news? Don't turn on the news." My anxiety was at a very low burn but burning none the less. I tried calling Mina. Nothing. Finally I called Mama Luz and I said breathlessly but cool, "Did he make it ok? Is he there?" And she said, "Oh yea. He and Mina are sound asleep curled up together in the guest bed." My anxiety melted to soft and squishy tenderness. I miss them both so much.
Husband sends me random one-line texts throughout the day. "Stupid humid - want to come home." Or "Your baby smells like onion chips!" (Meaning Mina's caught a case of baby B.O.) Or "I can easily turn into a fat slob in Long Island." Or "I haven't showered yet." Or "Did I tell you how beautiful our baby is?"
I really can't explain well enough how perfect this guy is for me. It's at a molecular level.
The reason I was able to keep Husband's plane-anxiety to that manageable slow burn yesterday morning, I believe, is because I haven't been drinking coffee. WHAT THE!? I know. When I got back from New York I just thought maybe I shouldn't really drink coffee anymore. It wasn't a grand announcement or goal. I just didn't. When I thought about it deeply, I knew that coffee was starting to effect me more dramatically than it has in the past. Some days I was fine, like I've been for most of my life, and other days I was becoming much more nervous and anxious and agitated than I've ever been before. Also, with the raw experiment, I'm not feeling the soy creamer. I know, deep down, that soy creamer should go, or so much of it anyway. In the couple weeks that I've been back, I've had a couple cups of coffee. Almost like, are you sure? And nothing. I'm not craving it or begging myself for it every morning. I have been drinking tea, green and black, but I feel much more calm and unnervous with the tea. I miss coffee, but in a symbolic sense. I love the smell still. I love the idea of coffee, of getting coffee, of loving coffee. I just haven't been drinking it. It's an odd concept for me to which I'm still adjusting. I can't even say that I've given up coffee. I just haven't been drinking it. My coffee pot still sits on my counter. We're like amicable ex-lovers who have always enjoyed each others company, but know it may be time to move on. I'll touch it and think fondly. But I don't turn it on. P.S. I've been drinking the sickest teas from Teany. I visited Teany during my last two trips to NY. I order online now too. The selection is overwhelming, but I'll recommend a couple: Earl Grey Creme -- sort of a lavender-y, vanilla-y black tea that's delicious; Japanese Cherry Green - fantastic! Almond -- very nutty and rich. Oh and they sent me the Celosia Blossom tea on accident, and watching the bound buds open up in the tea pot is beautiful.
I realize that when I'm all alone, I shop more. So hard to drop all vices at once. I bought this apron yesterday.
the peanut butter
5 hours ago