Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Self Portrait Challenge - Nude June #2


I sat on the bed naked, with the camera. It was a combination more explosive than I thought it would be. After work I had locked my bedroom door, stripped down and sat on the bed. My legs were creased from where my jeans had dug into my skin. The dogs curled up at the head of the bed, half intrigued. This felt liberating and ridiculous. When I started snapping shots I felt like I was pushing the limits with the photos -- I mean I had no underwear on -- but I look at this rather pedestrian picture and sigh. I realized then that I waffle between liking to be naked and not liking to be naked.

I sleep in a jog bra. I like the feel of a corset. I like to be cocooned in clothing, and this isn't a fashion-driven decision, but often one of security.

But once, on vacation with Husband at a woodsy hotel, the balcony faced only pine trees and I sat out there often, naked, without the least bit of self consciousness.

And a few times when I was a child, I swam naked in my mother's rich boyfriend's pool while they holed themselves up in other parts of the house. And I loved it. I was floating away, completely in control of my own self. I haven't swam naked much since without overt flirtation and sexual coyness that embarrasses me now. I miss skinny dipping just for fun, because it felt good. Maybe I just like to be naked in Nature. Strange.

Taking this picture was harder than I thought it would be. I had to peel away layers of work clothes and I searched around to turn on an Artistic Switch as the kids whined on the other side of the door about dinner and end-of-the year homework. And my dogs looked at me like, Whatever, and I did what I could fully aware that when we don't take naked photos often we really only want ones that make us look as good as possible; art be damned.

I think I can do better next time.

More nudists HERE.

12 comments:

Kristin C. said...

beautiful, soft, strong.

Deb R said...

"...when we don't take naked photos often we really only want ones that make us look as good as possible; art be damned."

Amen! It's one of the things I struggle with for self-portraits in general, but way more so this month - not wanting to show the ugly ones.

"I think I can do better next time."

I worry that I can't. But all we can do is try. (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.)

I like that your portrait has the reflection and yet still only shows your legs from either perspective. I think it makes it look very mysterious!

geek-betty said...

you see this the exact opposite as I do! I don't think i want to try again. It terrifies me!

great photo, you have lovely legs

jenica said...

this is a really beautiful shot. and you've well described the sentiment.

Melinda said...

Love. It.

All of it.

Devadeva Mirel said...

where's the jean lines?

madness rivera said...

Thanks Kristin.

DebR and GeekB, we are all absolutely going to try again next week! You guys did fantastically.

Thanks so much Jenica and Melinda.

Ah and the jean lines, yes, they are grooved along the outsides of my thighs and hips. They didn't make the cut for this photo shoot.

Amarettogirl said...

What pillars of strength, courage and beauty those thighs are!!! I loved reading about the process...the kids...the dogs...work clothes and memories...great job!
Here is mine:
http://amarettogirl.squarespace.com/self-portrait-challenge/

Hil The Thrill said...

Boy, you do underestimate yourself. I think that photo is prizewinning.You are beautiful inside and out.

Anonymous said...

This is very nice if safe. I love the feeling of being naked and wish it was more acceptable. Maybe this summer there will be an opportunity for naked swimming for no other reason that to do it.

madness rivera said...

Thanks Amaretto Girl. Super nice comment.

And thanks Hil. I do like the photo; I think it's pretty and I like the coloring a lot. I was just hoping to get something more brave and interesting. Like, I love AmarettoG's comment, and I do think of my legs as strong and beautiful pillars, but I don't think that's depicted in the photo. Nothing wrong with a pretty shot, I just think it's lacking some depth.

Cupcake said...

lovely photo. my dogs were nonplussed by my photo session as well. ah, to be a dog, naked all the time and not caring about it at all...