Thursday, August 24, 2006

Self Portrait Thursday & Happy Birthday to Me


Today is my birthday. I am on the eve of forty now, and sometimes it's hard not to feel enclosed by time, by physical age, but generally my birthday means so much more to me than that. I love my birthday. In my lowest, loneliest times I have always felt -- on my birthday -- a deep and electric sense of hope. It's not just a feeling of renewal really and not just the pact I make with myself to make things better in my eleventh year, my sixteenth, twenty-first, thirtieth, thirty-ninth . . .It's not just that. It's this charged confirmation I feel: I Am. I Am. I am alive and I am hopeful. Nobody confines me to their You Are's. I am free. I am brilliant. (This is what I've told myself since early birthdays) I Am It, the hero of my own world.

Happy birthday to me. And happy birthday to me to you guys too.

26 comments:

LeS said...

Oh dear madness, happy happy birthday to you. You are not only stunning in this photo but in this life. May it be the best you can imagine and then some.



(and I'll join you for my 39 on Nov. 3 :)

Rebel Girl said...

You are brilliant.

Happy happy happy birthday.

Mardougrrl said...

Happy happy birthday! What a gorgeous picture! I am in awe.

Thanks for giving us a present on YOUR birthday. Your words are ribbons of inspiration.

amstar said...

Oh, once I figured out that Grape Nectar was in fact TODAY, I was itching to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. and to include you to our birthday wishing ritual ... CONGRATULATIONS! you are such a beautiful woman - inside and out. a hero - definitely.

angela said...

Yes you are brilliant! I hope your day is wonderful and glorious and filled with love!

Maven said...

Dear delicious mega babe,
let me add my kudos to the general and overwhelming ass-buttering you're about to get. You're the bomb.

Rennmaus said...

Happy Birthday wishes from Germany!
I have turned 40 last month... so I know what you are writing about... but you seem to have one year left...
Have a great day!

Irene said...

happy, happy birthday to you. your photos amaze me, and your posts, so honest and brilliant are a constant reminder to live my life the fullest, to be brave, and to hope.

michelle/weaker vessel said...

To my new lady crush:

Happy happy happy happy birthday, you renegade, eagle-eyed, life-drunk, headstrong, gorgeous whirlwind of a chica. If that's what 39 looks like, sign me the fuck up, like yesterday.

From your companera in Alabama,

Michelle

a.k.a. Astrid, a.k.a. Initially Cold Wife

andrea said...

you are you are YOU ARE. absolutely beautiful inside and out and rocking it all the way to the casbah and back again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

so glad to have met you, dear friend. mentally sending a pineapple martini your way. xo

Deb R said...

Happy Birthday! I hope it's wonderful. I love the photo. You have gorgeous eyes!

Regina said...

You ARE one of the most brilliant writers I have ever read. I feel your heart in every word and I am grateful. Have a great day sweet lady and know you are loved.

Melinda said...

Girl, you are the hero of many people's worlds.

Happy birthday!

Anonymous said...

happy birthday fellow virgo!!! i totally relate to what you wrote about having a sense of hope on your b-day...have a delicious year...

erica

Anonymous said...

happy birthday sweet girl.
i just read your latest entries and - sigh - love you to death.

tara w

Kathleen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kathleen said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, fellow leo! : )
i just returned from traveling, last night, and saw your birthday wishes to me...and then realized it was your birthday, too!

i will try and live my 40th year as intently as possible so as to lead the brilliant path for others on the cusp of their fourth decade.
hee.

you are brilliant. and i love your reflection on having a birthday. i may have to borrow those lovely ideas from you when i have my birthdays in the future.

your picture is lovely. beautiful. gorgeous. and you are so wise. so so wise.

happy birthday dear, rawkin', inspiring lady!

xoxoxo

Pixie said...

Beautiful picture-Happy Birthday!

acumamakiki said...

Happiest of Belated Birthday's dear Madness, happy birthday to you! Beautiful photo of a beautiful birthday girl. I love my birthday as well ~ it's the one day that's truly yours to celebrate.

jules said...

Happy Belated Birthday, I figured you for a LEO!!! Yay go the Leos, you know what I love about us and probably what others find a tad confronting or grating, we just say it like it is, straight from the heart, as little editing as is needed. I love your blog, you just create a sense of realness and you arent afraid! Love it!!!!
Oh i turned 39 too, kinda felt bit scary for about 60 seconds and I was like, no way I AM liking myself, where I am at and where I am headed so cant complain that it took me 39years to get to that place!

Keep it real, love it!

Jules
PS You might like this funky little site...... ecodepot.com.au found it yesterday and figure being the funkyveganenviromentallyaware earth mama you are you may dig it!

madness rivera said...

Thank you for the well wishes! My birthday was great, of course.

For the record, I am a first-day Virgo with Leo tendancies. But I rep Virgo hard. Though, Jules, I feel I am straight from the heart but with more Virgo diplomacy -- or manipulation, whatever you want to call that. And I turned 39, but I'd turn 40 with you Kathleen any year. Maybe in five years let's turn 40 together.

girl least likely to said...

holy cats i love this shot. happy birthday!

lovegreendog said...

you are inspiration as a mother, earth lover,a friend, and as a writer. know you've touched lives with your words :)
happy belated birthday!

The Image said...

Happy birthday, Madness! The age of forty is a very fine one. You are still very young ..and beautiful, too!

Kim Carney said...

Happy Birthday! You are brilliant --- YOU shine!

Flower delivery said...

Birthdays are moments when past and especially future are combined. That’s why there is always a glimpse of hope during this day. Happy birthday to you!