Oh, this is gonna be great. This is my first entry for SPT's February theme, "All Of Me, Even the Ugly Bits", which is obviously meant to simply humiliate us and destroy any facade we've tried to create on our blogs. If our on-line journals can't be a sanctuary to offer and admire our Best Bits like a new, shiny penny, like a hologram of an angel, then what the hell is? Oh well, down the hatch. Thanks, Self Portrait Tuesday.
As promised, here are a tiny few of the pictures from my most excellent performance in the exercise video. Warning: This is not what I look like. Is it? Actually, this is probably exactly how I look when I'm not looking.
And apparently this is what I look like being interviewed. It seems that I'm in a constant state of surprise when I speak to people. This was a shocking and frankly frightening revelation. Why children don't cry as I bug-eye them is beyond me. Why is the cameraman so close to my face? I mean, has he been hypnotized by the inner lining of my cornea? Doesn't it look like I'm saying SSSssssss then EEerrrrrr in these eloquent shots?
Ok, here I am in action. Dudes, the mouth. The mouth! I cannot for the life of me close my mouth when I dance or exercise. WHAT THE FUCK. Maybe there is a muscle connected from my feet to my jaw. The clenched fists, the shoulders in my ears, the ever-present surprised expression -- I want to cry.
This picture is kinda hot; sweaty, rocking out, but why Mr. Cameraman are you all up in my boobs? Is this a family exercise video? You should see this in motion. (cue music) Boink kada boink boink ("Turbo Me Chicks 8, take four, action!) Jesus Madness, put those away before you poke an eye out.