Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Meme-ified

Two days ago I didn't know what meme meant. But lately it's been meme-o-rama in Blog World and I've been quickly edumemecated on what it all means. Hollyrhea gives a most excellent explanation, and in my mind it means: Write some revealing shit in list form. And you do this because you just saw another blogger do it or you were invited to do so. I call that Biting Their 'Stilo, but meme it is! I did the 10 Random Things because it was a cool idea, but I didn't realize I was getting caught up in the memephenomena. And it's kinda embarrassing to reveal so much in list form, like getting-to-know-you vomit and I doubted anyone was really interested in my inventoried shit, but I love to read other people's lists like this cool one from maven haven. . . I think I just learned you need to be “tagged” to officially meme or do the meme or be the meme; meme out with your cock out! But fuck that. I tag myself. But this may be The End of the Meme for me -- I mean, like, after this self-tagged one . . .'cause it almost feels like a chain letter or those infuriating emails that try to convince you to forward it to 1,504 friends to receive ANY KIND OF FINANCIAL REWARD AT ALL IN THE NEXT YEAR. I delete those mothers immediately. I'd rather be penniless than get suckered into that shit.

Are you lubed and ready for ma meme chose yet? Here we go --- wwwhhheeeeee!

Seven Things I Can Do (uh oh, I just realized this is gonna be hard):
1. Take people for their word. Which means I am almost teflonic to passive aggressiveness. For example, if I'm somewhere with someone and they sigh and hem and hah, I'll say, "Hey, do you want to go?" And if they say (sighing), "Noooo, it's ok. We can stay." I'll say, "Cool," and not think about it again. If you want to go, fucking tell me because I ignore all things but your word. Works WONDERS. I highly recommend.
2. Daydream to the point of distraction.
3. Be goddamn creative. The bracelet, pictured left, was my last wild hair. I made a bunch o’ bangles earlier this year, 14 different styles.
4. I can then realize that when it takes six hours to make a bangle, maybe this isn't a good business venture. I couldn't seem to charge enough money. I was too embarrassed to ask for too much. So, apparently I can shut down a business pretty well. *sigh*
5. Still hit a 15-foot jump shot. If pushed into playing, I could surprise good, male players in a game of pick up. My husband, his brother and I once ran a court in Queens ALL DAY LONG. We shoulda hustled cash money.
6. Shove in all things important. I balance well, I work hard and I don't believe in sacrificing things that are important, to me or to my family.
7. Compose an email like nobody's business. Especially ones work related; ones that need to tell off vendors, bitingly and professionally, where I eventually get my way because I've either articulated myself well enough or confused the reader. I'm pretty bad-ass at this.

Seven Things I Can't Do
1. Link the books I am reading or the music I am listening to in my margins.
2. Cut my own hair which bums me out.
3. Go on roller coasters anymore or do anything requiring physical fearlessness.
4. Lie very well. I stutter and get shifty-eyed. I choke up and sweat.
5. Read enough. A lot does not equal enough.
6. Be too strict on the girls. I'm kinda soft. THEY DESERVE SPOILING.
7. Not express myself if something is bugging me. I'm of the Spit It Out Camp.

Seven Celeb Crushes
1. John Stewart - though maven haven said she could fit him in her pocket and I laughed very hard at that.
2. Ryan Phillippe
3. Justin Timberlake (SHUT UP)
4. Luke Wilson
5. Benicio del Toro
6. **updated** Ok, so Halle Berry's man which is this guy , Michael Ealey
7. Manu Ginobili

Seven Things I Find Attractive in a Mate
1. Confidence
2. Treats me like an intoxicating goddess
3. Doesn't let me walk all over him, but still adheres strictly to #2
4. Athleticism
5. Sense of responsibility
6. Honesty
7. Kindness
7.5 Strong forearms, gush.

Seven Things I Hope to Do Before I Die
1. Finish this list
2. Raise two world changers. They will change the world if they just remain compassionate and thoughtful
3. Grow old gracefully - kinda panicky on this one.
4. Have a cult following
5. Wear gigantic hats whenever I feel like it
6. Learn to sew
7. Fix my busted Spanish
7.5 OF COURSE PUBLISH A BOOK OR SEVEN -- geesh.

Seven Things I Say Often
1. Bananas. As in, That's bananas. I was saying this long before Gwen was all spelling it out for us on the radio.
2. Mu Fucka. As in, Listen here mu fucka. Or, he's a handsome mu fucka. Or (to the dogs), come here lil mu fuckas.
3. Retarded nice. "The spa was retarded nice."
4. Mama. I call many people this apparently. Hey mama, lil mama, mami, mamita. I swoon if Husband calls me Mami . . .
5. Do you have to go potty? Between the girls and the pugs, I say this approximately 75 times a day.
6. Holy shit
7. I love you. I do say this a lot. I can't say it enough. They deserve to hear it every other sentence.

8 comments:

Marigoldie said...

Good stuff. Good, good stuff. Mu fucka. We're going to be saying that now in Denver.

I want to do mine but can't; I don't want you to think I'm stealing B. Del Toro.

HollyRhea said...

B-A-N-A-N-A-S! (I think she's proving something to us)

I'll teach you to sew if you teach me to make an awesome bracelet.

Now why didn't I think of Jon Stewart?

la vie en rose said...

heheh...I think you are building your following on your blog. I love that bracelet!

madness rivera said...

HA - thanks. Y'know, I loved/love the bracelets too, but I sold a bunch for a little bitty price and then I was crying as I was SLAVING over the most time-intensive bangles ever . . .NOW, I just heard that one of them is gonna come out in some zine called Lemonade(?), and I wanna cry some more. Who hopes their stuff won't be too popular?

HollyRhea said...

I'm telling you...teach me how to make them and we can have a bicoastal (coast of Lake Michigan) cottage industry.

We can at least cry together.

Anonymous said...

hey-i love reading your blog. you are totally funny, and i think we could def hang.

fucking mofo is my blurb of choice this week.

or bitch ass bastard. that ones good too.

Tara

Maven said...

I shoulda put "word up, mami" on my list, though here in Collegeville I don't say that shit a whole lot. At home I say it every other sentence. Maybe I'll try it out in a faculty meeting next week. And I too call people "mama" ALL the time.

Sissetine said...

Hey I just love that bracelet! Please tell how you made it! :)